Boosting Self-Confidence

The journey of self-confidence is not linear, and it’s also not a “one and done” process.  There isn’t a state of perfect confidence any of us can arrive at—rather it’s a developing process that’s never complete. The ongoing effort to address these different areas of life can help boost self-confidence.

Being Nice ≠ Being a Doormat

Are you being nice or being a pushover? Putting the happiness and admiration of others on a pedestal over your own personal values and desires is the quickest route to built-up resentment and dissatisfaction. I hear this discussed all the time in therapy. Bending over backward in an attempt to make people like you doesn’t really work in the long-term, as that “niceness” begins to lack authenticity. Resentment can lead to lashing out, passive aggressive communication, or cutoff—none of which coincide with healthy relationships or with self-confident behavior.

Playing into Your Strengths

What are you good at? And don’t say “nothing”—your talents can feel insignificant and still leave an impact on how you feel about yourself. Maybe you’re great at crossword puzzles, have an eye for fashion, or are handy around the house. Oftentimes, I find, people may underestimate their talents and gifts or even overlook them entirely. Societally, we’re told that a hobby should require a certain level of skill or expertise to be worth mentioning. Spending time acknowledging and building yourself in an area of strength will send you on a quick path to feeling more confidence.

Caring for Yourself

What makes you feel most like you? That can seem like a bit of an abstract and silly question, but it’s a real thing to think about. Playing into who you are as an individual is at the root of confidence-building. The little things that help you feel grounded, relaxed, and in-touch with yourself bring a sense of peace. Things like reading, journaling, listening to music, and creating art help center us as humans. Engaging in personal hobbies and interests, socializing, and giving positive energy back to the world around us helps remind us who we are as individuals, and that breeds confidence.